0-Die Bastard : 1-Crap : 2-Rubbish(watchable) : 3-OK : 3.5-Nice : 4-Good : 4.5-Very Good : 5-WOW
31.12.11 : New Year Spectacular : Laugh Garage Sydney
It was always going to be a quiet one, maybe a bit too quite, but the comics that stuck to their routines were fine. Brent Thorpe got the biggest applause with a set routine, followed by Paul Warnes and Zoe Pelbart, who I don't think I've seen before. The surprise of the night was last up Michael Workman. Lately he has been doing that 'muck-around with the audience stuff', and I like it so much I could listen to it all night, and so could this audience. About what I expected Crowd : 3.75 - Me : 3.5
29.12.11 : Buffy The Musical - Seniors : Newtown Theatre
Having never seen one episode of Buffy the TV series, and not knowing much about musicals, I knew I was going to have trouble. I was hoping to try and catch up during the show, but everyone's voice was so tiny that not much got projected to me, so I was pretty much lost for the entire show - it makes me appreciate people like Pat Magee, who's voice projects so well -. The only thing I heard was the Head Demon, who had such a great voice that it filled the room enabling me to hear everything she said. Unfortunately I couldn't relate to any of it because I didn't know the rest of the story. The 3 big singing numbers where the whole cast sung together was good, because the volume was so strong that it gave it power and emotion. I can't tell you if it was clever, because I didn't hear what was going on, but the audience didn't laugh much, so I assume it's probably not a comedy. All I gathered was that there were 2 girls that are lesbians, a boy and a girl that are a couple, and I think the demons kill people by dancing and singing them to death. There is also an orchestra that were really tight, and quite good. I overhead a friend of the cast say to them that it was really good, so taking out the enthusiasm factor of them knowing the cast, I think they thought it was a 4. If you want to go book ahead, because it looks like every show will be a sellout - I had 2 shots at it -. Crowd : 4 - Me : NA
28.12.11 : Wisecracker Wednesdayz : Oatley Hotel
Most comedy rooms close down for Xmas, but this room is going right through without a break. I assumed it's due to a lack of an audience, but this one proved different because it was one of the largest crowds I've seen here in a while. Things were looking up with the large crowd - the more the merrier -, until a lady got too drunk and interrupted all through the show. Amanda Gray(MC) handled it fine, but the 2 young supports had trouble. They aren't the strongest comics, and the interruptions made things worse, but the crowd didn't seam to mind because they gave them good applause anyway. Peter Meisel noticed the problem and switched into high gear with a energetic fast paced delivery - something I haven't seen lately -, that overcame most of the problems, making the night ok. Crowd : 3.75 - Me : 3.5
24.12.11 : XMAS Comedy Gala : Laugh Garage Syd
It was always going to be a quite one this time of year, but it turned out better than I thought, and better than the previous 2 years of Xmas Eve shows - I think the crowd knew the facts and made the most of it by accepting it and having fun regardless -. It's been ages since I saw Umit Bali, so for me, and the crowd, he was great. Joe Mifsud - I think that's his name - was very comfortable and it came through with a good set. And even JJ Mullard, with his older style humour, connected tonight. Crowd : 3.75 - Me : 3.75
21.12.11 : Wisecracker Wednesdayz : Oatley Hotel
Looking at the lineup I didn't have much hope, because it had 2 young headliners, and I though it would be hard to pull off with new-ish comedians. I thought Oliver Phommavanh could pull it off, because he has in the past, but I didn't think Michael Chamberlin could - mainly because I have never seen him do a long set before -. But actually quite the reverse was true. This room has a weird crowd, in that they don't react much during the performance, but give a cheer after if it's good. And that's basically what happened to Oliver. I thought he wasn't doing well, but the crowd gave him the loudest cheer of the night. Michael on the other hand, was pretty impressive, and delivered a good performance. He ignored the room vibe, and belted it out like a pro ignoring the audiences reactions and forcing them to come around - it's always impressive when a comic overcomes what could be interpreted as a bad situation and puts it out like nothings wrong -. Surprisingly, Matt Kirshen(MC) came to Australia from the UK at this time of the year, because there isn't much comedy here at this time. Unfortunately, he didn't do much routine, but then again, the host isn't supposed to be that funny. Peter Meisel(USA) did a small spot, which was weird, because he is hosting next week. Crowd : 3.75 - Me : 3.75
20.12.11 : (3D) Flying Swords of Dragon Gate - movie
Action | Drama | Adventure : It starts with corrupt officials illegally killing all that oppose their power, a bunch of crusaders opposing them, a girl on the run for being pregnant, another crusader helping her, 2 armies tracking the crusaders down, an inn near the dragon's gate that harbours criminals, a group of criminals that plans to rob the lost golden city, and a couple of big sand storms. The movie has that flying action that defies the laws of physics, and quite a bit of CGI, and that is coupled to quite a lot of stories. The movie runs for just under 2 hours but it feels a lot longer, because there is so many stories packed in. I found that having 3D with subtitles and such fast flying swords, it's hard to get the full effect, and because I'm an old and a White, I had trouble getting all the nuances that had the rest of the audience laughing in places. I suggest getting near the front, because there are heaps of stuff flying past your head and you'll get a better effect there. Not world changing like Hero, but it was fine 3.5.
20.12.11 : Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - movie
Adventure | Thriller | Action : The IMF is shut down when it's implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, causing Ethan Hunt and his new team to go rogue to clear their organization's name. Not as much action as you would expect, but more of a thriller. It was good enough. 4
17.12.11 : Work in Progress: Hugh Hughes in... Stories from an Invisible Town : Carriageworks
Why did I go see another Hugh Hughes show when it's obvious that I didn't like the last one. Well I though I could recover some of the large cost - large at least for me - from his last show by going to this free one, like a 2 for 1 deal, but sadly it looks like I only got 50 cents back. There was less faffing about explaining things, so it wasn't as annoying, but it still went for 20 minutes. The basic show was 40 minutes of improvised theatre based around stories from Hugh's life. It was basically a kind of Long Form Truth scene, and we all know how uninteresting that can be, but the biggest problem was that they are not good improvisers. It's like they were given 1 Impro class, so they knew the techniques, but they didn't have the skill to pull them off and were just doing the stuff because they CAN, rather than if they should. The only part that was mildly interesting was when Hugh went into story mode, and told us a bit about the estranged relationship between his father and his brother. There was a story about how a bird smashed through his window and died when he was young, but so what, we get birds doing that to our window every couple of years - most survive but we did have to bury a Kookaburra once -. Hugh said he had 300 stories that would take 20 hours to tell, but all I want is a couple that is worth listening too delivered in a decent time frame, unlike like Story of a Rabbit that had 2 x 15 minute stories and 1 hour of annoying explanations. I though it was just me that didn't like the show, but when there was a Q & A at the end and the young people hinted that they weren't engaged - the polite way of saying it's crap -, I realised that it's not just me. I did get some additional information when a girl, that had seen all his 4 shows, asked a question. She said that Floating and 360 were funny, but that Rabbit and this one had gone away from comedy, and got serious, and that she didn't like the switch either. This was a touch better than Rabbit, because there was less wafting, but this is the show that broke the camels back, and I would say that all the rest of Hugh's shows would be a waste of money. 0
16.12.11 : Aussie Foo Fighters Show : Engadine Tavern - music
I can't afford the real Foo Fighters, so this will have to do. I thought the sound was terrible, but then again I was wearing earplugs, but even with that, it was still fun. The one problem with this place, is that the sound is so loud that it's painful - you think they would have learnt that when the crowd arrives early to get a good seat, and then leaves soon after the band starts playing with fingers in their ears -. The weird thing was that the guy I was talking to said the sound was brilliant, and he had seen the original Foos last week, but on the other hand he was liquored. It was fun 3.75
15.12.11 : A Mic in Hand Xmas : Friend in Hand
That was weird. I was kind of hoping it would be better than usual with so many pro comics, but it must just be how it is, because it was the same. I think the crowd sets the tone for this room, in that they are smarter than the usual crowd and are harder to impress, and this results in a crowd that is always quieter than other crowds. The best on the night was Dave Jory(MC) and Michael Workman, with everyone else being a bit all over the place, except for Peter Egner who is only a shadow of his great routine from the old days - it's a shame -. Oh well, it was ok, just not anything that stands out for me. Crowd : 4. - Me : 3.5
14.12.11 : Tower Heist - movie
Action | Comedy | Crime : When average joes find out they have been embezzled, they try to steal the money back. It says action comedy crime, but it hardly has any of that at all. The crowd laughed a few times, but I didn't, so I wouldn't say it's much of a comedy. Watchable but not terribly funny, and quite forgettable. Nothing special. 3
14.12.11 : The Art Of The Brick - Nathan Sawaya's : Town Hall
Underwhelming is the first word that comes to mind. The only thing that stood out was the 2 large sculptures and the video showing Nathan putting the faceless man together - it makes you wonder how he works out the layering -. Not enough big pieces - he should be scaling up actual size if he wants people to gasp -, and not enough pieces in general for the $17.50 entry. 3
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13.12.11 : The Inbetweeners - movie
Comedy : Four 18-year-olds from the south of England go on holiday to Malia after their final year of High School. I don't really know anything about the franchise, and wasn't that keen on going, but it was aright. Humour is simplistic, and therefore predictable. 3
13.12.11 : New Year's Eve - movie
Rom-Com : Different people are all headed to Times Square for the big ball drop on New Years Eve. One out of the twenty - it felt like 20 but was probably around 10 - intertwining short stories was good. It took ½ hour just to introduce all the characters, and even longer before something happened. Slow and uninteresting for the most part, but at least I didn't hate it like Valentines day. 3
09.12.11 : Wil Anderson : Laugh Garage Sydney
It was a big show at 3 hours, but that was probably due to everyone getting such good reactions from the crowd that they didn't want to get off. The place was packed, as you would expected with Wil, with the crowd being somewhat quirky, but still very good . For some reason they didn't like clapping comics on, but if impressed, which happened quite a few times, they would give a good cheer. But the biggest plus was that they liked to laugh, and there was so much that it raised the energy to make the night even better. Wil didn't do his usual machine gun delivery, but used a more relaxed style, so it was short bursts of energy, punctuated by rests, rather than continuous energy. Wil's routine tonight was mainly a best-offs, but he did have something special at the end. Wil can't not be good, and that's how I find every one of his set shows, but it's the ones where he mucks around that I really like. Tonight he finished on a ad-lib Q&A, and that's were he shines - Wil should be given Gordon Street because he's so good at it, just look how he turned around a boring subject like advertising and made it watchable -. Wil was good, but it was the supports that surprised. It must have been a fresh crowd, because regular host Paul Warnes smashed it - the other funny crowd quirk was that they liked to talk to Paul -. I was listening to Arnie Pie and wondering how I knew some of his jokes, then I remembered he was in Quest of the Best last week - I'm a shocker with faces -. He did a lot better tonight. I saw Jarred Keane a couple of weeks ago and he was iffy - to be fair he was time filling -, but tonight it was all routine, and he smashed it. It felt like a large part of the crowd was in his young demographic, in that the audience understood that angst and depression style of humour. He did a send-up of Wil's joke about a penis being fun-sized, but substituting a penis that was anal-sized. The crowd loved him. The crowd must have been very diverse because Yummy Mummy Christina Van Look connected with the audience also. I have seen Shane Matheson trialling most of his stuff at Project52, and it usually comes out weird, but tonight he smashed it with his sticky mango hands - WTF -, and his new Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer/NIN-Closer gag. Dane Hiser is usually funnier when he does the fast talking delivery, but he was ok. And Joe Misford - I think that's his name - was nice. Not only was Wil good, but the supports smashed it, the host smashed it, and especially the crowd smashed it, it was smashing. Crowd : 4.75 - Me : 4.5
07.12.11 : Songs For No One : El Rocco
I wasn't going to do that much this week but I was so bored I looked at the music gig guide and saw Lisa Schouw's name. I last saw her do a solo show in Annandale about 10 years ago, and only once before that in the country - probably somewhere like Picton - about 20 years ago with her band Girl Overboard. Even though I'm over that style of music the memories alone would make it good, so I went. There wasn't any information about the gig, except for Lisa's name, so I assumed it would be her doing another solo show of her old songs. But while I was waiting I picked up a flyer that advertised 'A grungy torchlight cabaret' that was going to do songs from Nirvana, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, REM, Soundgarden, and more. Because I still like Grunge I thought to myself that it would be good to go and see, so I quickly looked for a date and it said 7.12.11, and that's when I realised that this is the show I was about to see. When we entered the room the show was introduced as singers doing covers of songs from the 90's, but stripped right back with only a vocalist and an accompanying musician on guitar or keyboard. In theory it looked better than I could have imagined, but in practice it had problems. Like when it's just one quiet vocalist and single instrument you have to be a good singer, because there is no loud band to cover up out-of-tune vocals. There was some singing out-of-key, but only one annoyingly out-of-tune. The second problem was that some vocalists picked songs that weren't that well known, at least by me, which was only about 3. And some songs were done in different styles, like jazz, and that cut the energy. The other weird thing was that it's so dark and squashed, that I felt a bit claustrophobic - too many tables -.
Set list :-
Nirvana - All Apologies
Sheryl Crow - I shall believe
Lisa Loeb - Stay (I Missed You)
Pearl Jam - Better Man
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Radiohead - Creep
REM - Losing My Religion
Girl Overboard - Chain of Fools
Nick Cave - Into My Arms
Chris Isaak - Somebody's Crying
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
Jeff Buckley - Lilac Wine
Björk - Hyperballad
Radiohead - Nice Dream
Leonardo's Bride Lyrics - Even When I'm Sleeping
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Remember these were slow sparse versions of the originals with some even being done in different styles - so more suited to a middle aged group - and very different from their originals, and maybe not as effective. But if you kept an open mind to new sounds, it wasn't that much of a problem. Basically this wasn't like a tribute band that sounds and looks like the original, but more musicians doing covers in their own style, but without the power of a band - Lisa had the strongest voice so her songs still sounded full without the band -. Overall the big Grunge songs from Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, Soundgarden were brilliant, even with their reduced energy. It was quite alright. Crowd : 4.25 - Me : 3.75
06.12.11 : Jack and Jill - movie
Comedy : A TV commercial maker, and family guy, Jack Sadelstein prepares for the annual event he dreads, the Thanksgiving visit of his twin sister. Not as good as his previous stuff, and I'm a fan, but I still though it was ok. 3.25
03.12.11 : Hugh Hughes - Story of a Rabbit - SOH
"A SMASH HIT AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE AND LONDON'S BARBICAN". It couldn't be in the comedy category, because it just wasn't that funny. I walked in, and not paying attention, was about to hand my ticket to the usher, when I looked up and it was Hugh doing the handshake when you entered thing again. That stunt was a bit of a repeat for me, and slightly annoying, but it didn't worry me that much. Then he did the usual banter thing at the start to wait for late comers, and I thought surely an Opera House crowd wouldn't be that stupid, but they were, because 5 people came late - this was the only funny part -. Hugh started by explaining parts of he show, and then explaining more, and then more, and then more, and it got to the stage that it was so over the top and patronizing, that I felt like I was being treated like someone with a mental disability - no one needs that much detailed information delivered in such a simplistic style to figure out something that isn't that complicated -. This is when it got annoying for me. It was explained that there was two stories, and that they would meet at the end - if we weren't told this at least it would have been a surprise at the end -. The stories were about his neighbours rabbit, and the death of his father. Parts of the stories would be reproduced by one means or another to put across an emotion, or maybe garner some humour. Like when he did the recreation of him sanding his floor boards, he used a action man doll in a perspex box with sawdust. I barely laughed at all during the show, and when I listened to the rest of the crowd, I couldn't hear them laugh much either. And when Hugh went to into the crowd I tried to gauge other people's reactions by looking at their faces, and the surprise was that about ¼ of them were smiling - I would have assumed none would be smiling -. This show didn't grab me at all, mainly because I didn't laugh, but 2 of the late-comers, a father and son, said their daughter, who was here the night before, said this show was great, and that they should go and see it, which they did - unfortunately at the end their body language transmitted that they didn't like it -. I don't really know what to say, except that some people might like it. At the start he asked who had seen his other show from 2½ years ago, and I though to myself, yes, I have seen his 23.01.10 show called 360, and it was so good(score 4) that I came to this one. But when he said it was called Floating, it got me wondering that maybe he has a comedy side, and a theatre side, because he referenced Floating to this one, and not 360. I think the crowd was being polite due to the applause they gave. Crowd : 4 - Me : 2.5
02.12.11 : Quest for the Best Grand Final : Marrickville Town Hall
When 500 people turn up, I now know why they move to a bigger venue. The crowd was a bit stand offish, and Tom Ballard did struggle, but he did get better in the second half when he did his new material. As for the competitors, it was the usual affair for me. 1 was downright bad, and shouldn't have been there, 4 were 3.75, and the last guy was a 4, and the eventual winner. Not a great crowd, or maybe my earplugs were too effective and I couldn't hear the laughs, but it was still ok. Crowd : 4. - Me : 3.5
Previous winners are:
2011 Sean Woodland
2010 Nikki Britton
2009 Josh Dolin
2008 Emma Zammit
2007 Oliver Phomavanh
2006 Lawrence Driscoll
30.11.11 : P52's Christmas Spectacular(Spooktacular) To End All Draculas! (Last Project 52 for 2011) : Hermann's Bar
Only 2 of the 4 Project 52ers turned up, so tonight it was Project 26. But because we had 2 hosts, you could say it was Project 39. And because Steen is double a Ben, you could say Project 45½. But then again Steen had to co-host while kneeling, making him only ½ a Carlo, and that made it Project 42¼. But then again Michael is half a man half boy, so it's Project 36¾ furlongs per fortnight. But if you think about it, he has 17 people talking in is head at the same time, so that's Project 299,792,459 m/s. Which is impossible since it's faster than the speed of light. (*-*)
This year there was no Space Wizard, but a mixture of stand-up, impro, and sketch. And that's not to mention the WCB(World Chicken Boxing). Michael and Steen did a good job hosting. Michael has the very fast talking style, which I like, and as you would expect made the most comments, mainly inappropriate ones. And it's that talk first, think after, and then back peddle, that makes it funny. It's got to the stage where his add-libbing could get him a job as a co-host on a FBi radio, except for the thinking second which would probably get the show cancelled in this PC world, but you never know it might work.
Ian Ferrington, in suit - which came in handy latter -, hates the Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer song, because he can't remember all the stupid reindeer names. But when pressed, could name all the girls in the chorus of the Lou Bega-Mambo No. 5 song - which got him a huge cheer -. And, as you would expect from a Uni comedian, questioned the science of the song when he noted that shiny noses don't glow.
Antony Faisandier huge Movember effort earned the charity a whopping $20. Being a tax lawyer, and not content with d!ck jokes, he killed with mining tax gag, and his financial advice while playing the game of monopoly. Funniest one for me
Nick Kraegen backed up his appearance 2 weeks ago with another new routine just for tonight. And even though it wasn't as killer as the first one, you do have to commend him on coming up with something totally different, that wasn't too bad at all, in such a short time frame. He covered Halloween as being like home delivery for pedos, his Harri Krishna uncle who wants to do a DIY nipple piercing on Nick with a BBQ skewer and soap, crappy Crisco hampers, Ebenezer Scrooge being correct in his views, and Stockholm syndrome. As Nick put it, 'My material isn't so much jokes, but more agendas'.
Cyrus Bezyan only knows comedy, so he wanted to stretch himself into serious acting by applying to NIDA. Unfortunately when he showed us a replay of his audition, which was him reciting lines from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar to the theme music of Seinfeld, we realised why he didn't get in. Cyrus and Michael were supposed to do a spooky Christmas Play - according to the program -. But after 2 hours of work on Cyrus's play, inside a play, inside a play - Inception style - it was still unfathomable. The play might have been way out there but the recounting of Michael Hing the spooky ghost that haunts Hermann's bar, was the funny part.
Shane Matheson, in some freak coincidence, turned up with same material as the other comedians when he did a monopoly gag, and more Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer song stuff. He complained about the line 'Rudolf had a very very shiny nose' because it had the side note that stated 'it was like a light bulb'. So he put side notes into NIN-Closer, like 'you make me desecrate you' - side note - 'like a war grave'. He did revert to his old trusted Priceline routine at the end.
I thought the impro stuff was going to be a troupe of players, but it was Steen Raskopoulos all by himself - except for an audience volunteer -, and that turned out to be the highlight of the night. It was setup as a mock speed dating night with him playing all the different bachelor characters in 2:00 minute intervals. He got a volunteer, and the stimulus that was a business card that read 'Jim Fishwick is a murderer'. The bachelors were :- 1 - a pompous Englishman type. 2 - a NIDA actor, who got zinged when his date because she knew more about the London theatre than him. 3 - a shy nerd. 4 - a supposedly confident, at least in his own mind, stud. 5 - a man with tourettes, who was beaten to the punchline by his date. I don't remember Steen doing characters so completely, except for his Lakembanese stereotype. With the new high speed, quick change, long form, nobody has time to do complete characters, they just end up being an accent with maybe one stereotypical catch phrase. I also think it's that 'being put on a spot' that makes you better, because of the sink or swim effect, and when Steen is put on the spot, by going solo, he has so much experience to draw on that he's always going to swim - it's just a shame we don't see it more often -. Being by himself, with no one to rely on, he had time to portray the characters, so we got a better picture of their wholeness, and this comes across as more of who the character is. It was so effective that it even got the suspected reaction from the audience volunteer, because she acted uncomfortable near the shy guy, and stand-offish at the stud. It looks like over emphasizing the stereotypes works. Biggest cheer of the night.
So with Hing's new catch phrase "Ladies and gentlemen, Get Your Pussys Oooooooout", and some bedroom advice, the 2nd half had :-
Laurence Rosier Staines & Michael Richardson - doing some crooners from the 50's, singing old songs, doing that on stage banter thing they did back then, and telling puns from the time, but with modern subjects.
The Inventions of Dragons - did a Xmas poem called Nick's first Xmas. They were a little hampered with one member not being able to remember any lines, and another not being able to pronounce Feliz Navidad, but that just made it funnier.
Tom Walker & Phil Roser - staged the World Heavy Weight Boxing final(Chicken Belt), and donned their chicken gloves ready for battle. Casanova Movember Walker was fisting fit when he fisted his chicken good and proper. Big Red Roser was hungry for a win, maybe a little too hungry because he weighed in at 100kg, but he was no stranger to a good fisting. The stage was set for the 3 x 3 minutes rounds until Steen noted that they would hardly make 3 minutes total, yet alone 3 x 3, so he cut it down to 3 x 1 minute rounds. A suited Ian Ferrington just happened to have the attire of a referee, so was given that duty. The trainers were ready with basting gloves, and the battle commenced. With the sound track of Eye of the Tiger blaring there was much chicken played by the competitors, as they back peddled in circles like roasting chickens on a rotisserie. Phil was working the face and Tom the breast, with Phil getting in a late blow to the head after the bell. In the 2nd Steen was shaking his little tush on the catwalk to A Whale of a Tale, with Tom thumb-banging his chick - ens. Phil was pecking at Tom, and Tom was dancing up a storm with his chicken-dance footwork, until Tom landed a big chicken exploding right punch to the ribcage - they say having sex with chickens makes them explode, but I wouldn't know about that -. Phil got his back with a right to Tom's chin, but that left their chicken gloves in tatters. A quick fix with gaffer tape, and they commenced the 3rd. The last round became a battle of the fittest, with Tom delivering a big slapping hit to the giblets. This rooster had got serious. All the dirty tricks were employed when Tom let carcass fly, literally, in nun-chucks style. Phil was always in strutting control, but the young cluck had the favour, and the seeds, with his brazing lamb·basting of his opponent. In the end it became a hen house vote, because all the chicks voted Pretty Boy Tom as the winner. A fitting final to this year, a chicken fisting, fighting, fornicating, final fantasy, final for the fear. Crowd : 4.75
So with 10 Story Clubs, 9 FBCNLJT impros, 8 Hermann's Heroes, 6 Ducklings, and 4 others, the truth come out, that it was Project 37, approximately.
Watch Tom's chicken explode at 2:40 with a big shot to Phil's gut.
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26.11.11 : This Is Not a Possum by Zoe Norton Lodge : Old Fitzroy Theatre
Just when you're so jaded that you want to quit this lifestyle - you could probably tell by the reduced entries in this blog -, a show turns up that makes it all worth while, and this is it. It's got to the point that I don't even look for shows anymore, they practically have to fall in my lap, and that's what happened with this one. I got on Facebook after lunch and Facebook's selective news feed said that this show was on tonight. It wasn't much notice - I usually need 2 hours heads-up to work out the logistics -, but I figured that if I scrape my sorry ass of the floor, I should be able to make it. Facebook is good in that respect, but you have to know, and find the organisations beforehand, rather than just looking at a gig guide. Twitter just has too many posts to find the 1% useful ones, and searching individual theatre sites is also a hard slog - did I just digress -.
I was in such a rush that I didn't even read the title of the show, and assumed that it was just going to be her Story Club stories all linked together. But I assumed wrong. After so many listenings I thought I was becoming immune to Zoe's charm, but then this comes along, and it's back with a vengeance. My God, how prolific is this woman, Zoe has comes up with another new charmer. It didn't start that way, but with a serious abstract piece about moths. Because I didn't know what the show was about I thought that I made a big mistake, because this wasn't Zoe's usual comedy, but that turned out to be a ruse, because the comedy did come. When we got to humorous part, after about 5 minutes, I was able to concentrate - I must have a very low attention span for serious theatre -, and after that I liked all of it. The funny parts were genuinely funny, and the bits that weren't funny, were captivating. There are bits in it where you aren't told what's happening, and you just have to work it out from the dialogue, like the dream sequences. It's a bit like that trick you play on your friends when you ring them up, and just starting talking without identifying yourself. And then when you ask them a question there's that silence on the other end, as they try to work out who it is. As soon as Zoe mentioned possums I remembered the story she told in Story Club about possums getting into the house. But even though this show is about possums, it wasn't the story she told before, but instead this new surreal type story based on facts. There is clever bits that are delivered in this kind of rhythmic rhyming prose - sorry I don't know enough about writing to know exactly what it is -. There was talking possums, there was projected scenes and sound scape's that added to the effect - and thankfully somewhere else that us old people can look at in the uncomfortable sexy part -. And there was a bed time story, which was a less horrific version of her spoon story. I wish there was something like this every month, rather than once a year, because it's stuff like this, that makes the tedium fade away. The last show I saw here 06.10.11 : In the Air Tonight was big and complicated, but uninteresting. This show is small, but a lot smarter, which made it so much more. There isn't much movement in this show, but it wasn't required - sometimes it's used to cover a bad show -, because Zoe's amazing delivery of dialogue, and the clever way it's constructed, and the quiet background music that sets the mood more completely, just makes it very impressive. This is what I would classify as intelligent comedy, because it's too funny for a comedy theatre show - you know, those theatre shows that are advertised as comedies, yet no one laughs -. It's actually too good for a fringe show, at least for all the one's I've seen. I won't be topping myself this week, very engaging.Crowd : 4.75 - Me : 4.5
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24.11.11 : Immortals - movie
Drama Action Fantasy : Theseus must find the Epirus Bow before the murderous Hyperion. It's about Greeks at war, with Gods and Titans involved - does the story really matter -. You know how TV wrestling is a little bit bullsh!t, so is this film. The biggest problem is the weak lead character, similar to Clash of the Titans, but worse, which makes the whole movie worse. I thought 300 was heaps better, but when I left some young guys said this one was heaps better. Sure 300 was small, simple and not much to it, but it did have a lot of soul - mainly from the overacting -. This one is big, grandiose, and has brutal blood-soaked CGI, but it's kind of dead. One thing I know for sure, people still talk about 300 now, no one will be talking about this one in the future. More than enough for a young audience, but I was yawing in places. 2.5
23.11.11 : Project 52 Presents: Sketch Fest : Hermann's Bar
I was thinking about skipping this - not a fan of short videos -, but since this is something new I'll give it a shot. And because this is a noble organization to support. What I didn't expect was the crowd, it was packed to the max - evidently exams are finished -. I was actually wondering if I should have stayed home, in case I was pushing someone out that would have appreciated this more. Oh well, it's too late now. The usual suspects were in charge, with Steen as host. Overall, it was better than I expected. Even though it was only videos, the first half was like a good Ducklings - you can use a lot more props and costumes in videos because there is less of a time constraint -. The second half did dip for me, because there was 4 similar clips about pre-recording a death message. The constants had 31 tiles to choose from, and I think some people picked the same one.
In order-The ones I liked :-
The friend denying that he was wearing his friends shirt - the shirts would switch in different camera takes - https://youtu.be/h6sEAISYxTw
The police stopping the drunken drivers - with the unexpected driver -
The James Colley's girlfriend finding his CD.
In order-The crowd was loudest :-
The Batman rap - https://youtu.be/X1h536FU_c0
The dead man who was a boobie - https://youtu.be/q82IdE5cb3s
The cancer woman making a video
Domestic Life - https://youtu.be/jK0d6h6NDNM
The police stopping the drunken drivers
James Colley's girlfriend finding his CD
The man who wanted a water - https://youtu.be/3Owqg8A7tB4
Where all dem bees at?! - https://youtu.be/6DIWqBhm3a0
Ultimatum being mistaken for a-tomato.
The results - honourable mentions :-
Alister Magee - https://youtu.be/VH1Uz_KHccE
Matt Watson - https://youtu.be/X1h536FU_c0
Runners up :-
Julio Larnach - https://youtu.be/jK0d6h6NDNM
Cyrus Bezyan - https://youtu.be/3Owqg8A7tB4
Harriet Hope Streeter - https://youtu.be/h6sEAISYxTw
Equal winners :-
James Colley
Laurence Rosier Staines - https://youtu.be/6DIWqBhm3a0
The winners were pretty excited about getting $250 each, until it came out in 30kg of 5 cent pieces - 10,000 off -
Videos aren't my thing, but the intended crowd liked it. Crowd : 4.5 - Me : 3.5
22.11.11 : Riot House - Moshpit Comedy : Gaelic Theatre
The comics were ok, it's just that the crowd wasn't that good. I was kind of a surprise when they started up comedy here again, because it wasn't that great last time, and even the Strawberry Hill Hotel comedy up the road didn't last that long. It's the usual scenario when it's free, the majority of the audience don't follow comedy, but go more because it's free. So they're there more for seeing if it might appeal, without risking anything, rather than to follow comedy. For me it was a strong line-up and worth the risk. Jarred Keane was the host, and because he does this every week he probably ran out of material, so he tended to make statements rather than jokes. But in the second half he come up with some material that was funny. Genevieve Fricker was delightful, as usual, but she came up with a new song that was good. Sam Bowring was good, and was nearly the best on the night. Rhys Nicholson's material is a bit confronting, if you take it the wrong way, and I think this crowd were taken back by it so they were a bit quiet. Matt Okine killed it, and came up with even more new material. Boo to the crowd. Crowd : 3.5 - Me : 3.5
21.11.11 : Contagion - movie
Drama : A thriller centred on the threat posed by a deadly disease and an international team of doctors contracted by the CDC to deal with the outbreak. I wouldn't say thriller, in fact this movie annoyed me. I hate these 'virus killing people' based movies - I think the father of these virus movies, The Satan Bug(1965), scared me so much when I was young that I now hate this genre -. I actually wanted to see Anonymous, but At The Movies said this one was better. For me, this have every cliché scene from every disaster movie ever made, so much so that I knew what was going to happen before it happened. And the biggest problem with this type disaster movie, compared to a natural disaster movie, was that there was no big action scenes to make it exciting. The problem with virus movies is you can't see anything, even though The Satan Bug used this so well that you felt unsafe and scared. The other annoying point was the peoples reaction, it wasn't the virus that was the problem, it was the stupid, ignorant, greedy people that caused the problem. Like, you can be as greedy as you want and kill innocent weak people to rob them, but if that behaviour is acceptable, what's to stop people killing you or your weak family to rob you - can you tell stupid humans sh!t me -. And I just can see what's so hard about staying away from your boyfriend for 144 days, TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, when he's just a phone call away. For me boring, and predictable, and annoying. 1
20.11.11 : Theatresports Cranston Cup REPECHAGE!!! : Factory Theatre
On paper it looked like it would be worth going, until I saw the 2 novice teams added at the bottom. But I remembered the repêchages in the past varied between good and brilliant, and with 3 strong teams, and 2 others with experienced players, I thought it would still be good, but it just didn't pan out that way. Only 2 teams fired tonight, actually only The Bearded Clams and Scott Hall-Watson, so it wasn't what I expected. I would have though this was a case of less being more, by having the usual 4 teams instead of 6, but I suppose when your team is paying big money to enter the comp, you would want as many runs as possible. Last week 15 out of the 20 scenes were good, this week it was only 7-ish out of 24 that were good. Tonight we had 6 teams, 3 in each half, doing 4 rounds each instead of 5.
In the first half only The Rock Steady Crew shone, and that was mainly because of Scott. My 4 point scenes were :- Damon Steff doing the voices for players, but being behind the stage and not being able to see what was going on, in the story of frogs on a pond. Damon delivered the characters dialogue in a nice, sweet, children's type story, but the players on stage were miming aggressive, nasty, fighting frogs. And their Twilight Broadway musical, that had team Edward V's team Jacob, which was the only thing the older players knew about the movie. Their loose interpretation based on the few snippets they knew was very funny, especially when Scott found out he had to do the scene shirtless. The 2 other mentions also came from TRSC, which I though were 3.75's, and they were about Giving Birth, and a Minimum Security Prison, that had the inmates on the naughty step.
The 2nd half was all The Bearded Clams, in fact the 2nd half was only The Bearded Clams, because they were the only ones who stood out by nearly scoring a 5 in everyone of their scenes :- Their 'I Love You' scene had Grant playing our host Susie Youssef, where he roasted her mysterious nationally - he probably has never asked her - by making Susie Fijian/Croatian/Hawaiian. Their 5 second mine scored a 5, but it was so short they had to be re-challenged. And in the rerun they scored another 5 with their Medieval puppet scene, where they had to move themselves because of the rules. Their Shakespearian epic about being Unfriended/Defriended on Facebook killed with skill. Their only other scene scored a 3.75, and was about Camella the Camel. Grant also did the voices in Working Class Heroes Boysenberry Icecream scene, which I gave 3.75. Other mentions was the Bigger on the Inside's scene, with them being the only 2 people left on the earth. But it wasn't because of the story, but because of the stunt where all the other players had to hold them in the air so they didn't touch the ground. Extra mention goes to the huge foam cube tied together with underwear, that was hurled at Cale's head for a bad decision.
I thought the 1st half was a touch better, even though the scores were higher in the second half - you're fresher at the start -. The 2nd half had high points, but there was just something about it that was less - I did notice there was less impromptu assistance by the non playing teams, which is something they will probably have to resort to in the final to make it entertaining -.
It's kind of ironic that the best team, who were always the most entertaining and always scoring 5's, didn't go through to the final, because the finals can use all the help it can get. Finals have been a sore point for me. I had been going to the Belvoir for a couple of years, and saw maybe 30 shows with no duds, but when I went to my first final, I was so shocked to find out that an impro show could actually be bad, because I had never witnessed one before, that it put me off from ever going again. It's the reason that I've only been to 3(2002,2007,2008), and 2 of those backed up my first impression by being bad. This year it looks like the Cranston has moved away from the contest part, because the teams that got through were picked for their entertainment valve rather than the points, and for an audiences stand point the entertainment value should be worth double that of Technique or Narration. But that kind of diminishes the contest part and reduces the skill level, because teams will be more prone to muck around rather than be skilful, and it's the skill part that makes impro attractive.
I did hear a young girl coming out of the theatre say she liked this show, but the girl that said the same thing last week was a lot more enthusiastic. It's kind-of the level audiences are familiar with these days, so for them it was probably good. Crowd : 4.25 - Me : 3.25
18.11.11 : The Clouds : Oxford Art Factory
The Clouds have already done a reunion tour, and I don't mean the ones last month, but back in 2006 Trish came back from the UK and the girls got back together to form the band The Girls From The Clouds, with new songs. But to gain interest from the public they did a Clouds reunion gig at the Annandale with the girls and 2 substitute band members. It was packed, they were brilliant, and it was the best Clouds gig I have ever seen, and in fact one of the best shows I have ever seen (5). The Annandale finally got their fold-back working, because the girls were perfect in pitch. I did go to the Rose of Australia gig soon after, but that wasn't a Clouds gig, but a The Girls From The Clouds doing new songs show, and that was a bit too feminine for my tastes.
So after the Falling Joys had great success at the OAF, and after the Clouds reformed to support some old UK bands a couple of months ago, this gig turned up. So I figured if it's half as good as the 2006 gig, it will be good, and it was. If fact is was nearly as good as the 2006 show, it just had more slow songs - which is what reduced the score for me because I have moved away from that -, to fill the long 80 minute set. The place was packed and I was at the back, but I wasn't getting any effect from the band, because there was so much loud talking, so I came to the front and after that, it was brilliant. Again there was that respectful crowd from the 90's, with everyone being polite and not blocking each other's view - some people even moved over so that other people could get a better view -. I thought the girls sounded brilliant, with earplugs you can easily hear singing out of key, and for me they were perfect. As far as looks go, Jodie never changes, she's always thin and stylish, Trish on the other hand has lost weight since 2006 and looks as pretty as the old days. The guys I don't remember that well, it's hard to look past the girls, but Raph didn't bring his trade mark cool hair, but brought the shaved look.
Fear the Moon PC
Loud O
Soul Eater PC
Immorta PC
Maryanne O
Foxes Wedding PC
Tangerine - unknown name
See You're Leaving O
Colourblind F
Bubble baby - unknown name
Say It O
The Edge F
House of the Sun - The Girls From The Clouds
Red Serenade T
unknown, probably new
Blood on my hands - unknown name
Bower of Bliss T
Boy of Air B
Ghost of Love Returned T
D F
Cloud Factory C
Hieronymus PC
Crowd : 4.5 - Me : 4.5
Bad luck for me was when Suzie Higgie from the Falling Joys did her support solo spot. I though she was only going to do songs from her solo album - again not my favourite because it's too soft -, but in fact she mainly did more Falling Joys songs. And even though they were acoustic, they were great. Unfortunately being at the back with the talkers, and not wanting to loose my seat if she only did one Falling Joys song, I didn't hear a thing - this is where the sound was terrible, it just wasn't loud enough -.
Crowd : 4.5 - Me : 4.5
17.11.11 : A Mic in Hand : Friend In Hand
I definitely wasn't even thinking about going to this show, but then I got the Facebook message that a mystery guest that was in the movie Crackerjack would be turning up. So I was thinking Martin, Molloy, etc, but the one person I didn't think of was, Judith Lucy, which is who turned up. I'm not a Judith fan, even though I liked her Spiritual Journey TV series, because she sometimes uses that comical sarcastic voice to cover up what is in fact the lack of actual jokes. She's not actually bad, it's just that I don't laugh as much as what I would expect for such a big name comic - I do laugh more at her than Arj Barker -. And because of that, I might not have gone if I knew it was her beforehand. Actually who am I kidding, I would have still gone even if I knew, because she's not crap, she's not that common up here, and it was cheap for someone like her. Well she was about what I expected, less funny than her last 21.02.09 : Judith Lucy's Not Getting Any Younger : Sydney Opera House show. Well the news is that she has moved to Sydney, and this was a trial of material she is writing for a new show. 3.5
As for the open mic-ers, I swear this was the same line up as I saw here 6 months ago. The only person who was good in the first half was John Cruickshank - he makes the mundane funny -. And the only other good comic on the night was, our host Chris Wainhouse. Jackie Loeb, the headliner, was nice, but she did a very add-lib improv set, which isn't as tight as her choreographed good set, and that made her not as funny as usual. A very long night in 3 halves that ran for over 2½ hours - too long for me when things aren't super funny - Crowd : 3.75 - Me : 3.5
17.11.11 : Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - movie
Drama | Fantasy : Bella gets married. That was sh!t. I thought #2 was dull, this one is just plain boring. There was ½ an hour of boring tedious wedding, and then only at the 45 minute point did something happen. But it was at the 1 hour point before we got a small piece of action. The first 1½ hours was so boring, that you didn't care who died in the small 25 minute action finish. The director was crap, the movie was crap - because you could tell it was 1 movie stretched into 2 -, and not even the songs they picked for the background music fit. Worse one yet, yawn-fest. 1
16.11.11 : Project 52: A Series of Confusing Sounds Resulting in a Stand Up Comedy : Hermann's Bar
It was gopher scrotum cuddly, which doesn't make sense, but at least it makes more sense than some of the stuff tonight. Like tall people with poodles on their heads are telepathic, and mothers are made of concrete.
The most pedophilic, Michael Hing, was our host tonight, and he was in hyper up-mode - must be those Red Bulls -. We discovered if you stab someone to death your not guilty, but only probably guilty. His female friend thinks he's having heaps of orgies, with non-existent, comedy groupies. His boss is some old 1960's editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle, that spouts out threatening statements like, "Get it done, or I'll have your balls". He thinks flirting with girls involves playing Words with Friends on the phone. His next door neighbor at the Harvest festival is a transvestite man, dressed as a woman, dressed as a man, dressed as a woman. And being the worlds fattest Dracula in summer, isn't a good idea. He was capably aided by Dicky-Knee-Jenkins - his words not mine - helping out on sound, and comments, and zingers.
Liam Bradbury - told us how a girls from Miranda answer their phone with "YOU'RE F*CKED!", screamed at full volume while in public. He told us about some indigenous Australians in 1770 complaining about all the boat people, and then fearing that they are all criminals. He ended on a beautiful summer love story about him and a beautiful girl from work, where she made the beautiful gesture of getting her first tattoo by emblazoning LIAM'S NAME ON HER BUTT AFTER KNOWING HIM FOR ONLY 1 WEEK, in some kind of weird Fatal Attraction psychopath love stalking ritual. WTF!.
Tom Walker - told us of his vampire days when he went on a glucose trial, and had to TO BLEED INTO TUBES, drink some sugar, and BLEED 7 MORE TIMES. Things didn't go well when he started clotting, but the assistant kept telling him to 'squeeze it out like you're milking a cow', even though he's not a farmer, nor had ever touched a cow before. So he just improvised and gave his hand a terrible hand-job, something he knows well - my add-lib -. He told us the trick that racists use, where they get you to agree to a rational statement, and then follow it with some insanely inappropriate statement. And because you've agreed to the first statement, it looks like you've agreeing to the second offensive statement. And this lead to his grandmother, the mother of his mother, and suffering a severe mental illness. whom he verbally bashed mercilessly, because she started a biscuit fight. We found out about how your age is your score in life's exam. Like when you live to 92, 92 points is a high distinction, and if you live to 51, it's a barely acceptable life, but still enough, and getting to only 20, is a tragedy.
Ciaran Magee - We found out that if you do an impression of Magneto, played by Ian McKellen, you sound like David Bowie. Aquarium goers that think everyone has prosopagnosia because they can't fathom how they are recognised by their photo - Aquarium, fathom, fathom. Suit yourself -. And that he's doing the Movember thing, but even with a 1 week head start, there is still no mo.
Nick Fischer - We found out that being 6ft 1 makes you telepathic, if your hair is a dog. His mum is hard, and made of concrete, because she stopped him from going into an England garden hedge maze because he got lost last time and started crying, at the age of 15 - my add-lib -. And this lead to the thought process wondering if anyone confused the 2 definitions of maze, and made a 'maze out-of maize', which sounded a bit corny - blame Nick, it's his pun -.
Michael was back again in the second half, so there was more Words with Friends gags. Michael also had a 2 way conversation, unfortunately it was with himself when he had to cover some inappropriate statements he made, which was nearly all of them.
Nick Kraegen - Nick has been oscillating between lust and rage, and for him nightclubs covers both because he hates pretentious fornicating factories. The biggest culprit is Justin Hemmes, who is breading some type of defective Mongoloid race, because all the guys in his club are short, and the girls are ridiculously tall, like pygmies and Amazonians. The way the nightclubs are set up also exacerbates this, because it's too dark to see how ugly people really are, and too loud to hear how stupid they are. He questioned their worth when it's $25 to get in, $17 for a vodka sodomy, just so you can get finger banged in public. He covered music, by stating that if INXS was so influential, why don't we hear more porn sax in songs. And this lead to auto-erotic asphyxiation - where else would it go when you mention INXS -, and, as Nick put it, has to be a 1st world problem, because who else would exhaust every non life threatening masturbatory avenue. Nick then went on to wonder how it was discovered, like was a guy quietly wanking in his room when he mother entered and started choking him from disgust, and the action of his mother choking him out with d!ck in hand was what turned him on. I found this set the best on the night because it was edgy.
Michael Chamberlain - started with a 30 minute set about picking up women with the phone game Words with Friends, but quickly changed to girls loving him. Yeah, loving him to drive them home because he won't try anything. He was warned when he left Melb for Sydney, to not come back gay, just as a gurgling cock sucking sound emanated from the bar. He mainly covered bullies, and how they fuck with your mind and terrorize you. He went on to tell us about his insidious antagonist bully, a 7 year old girl. She was no princes, BECAUSE SHE STARTED IT, when she called him a fag while burping a beer burp down his neck while laying in wait behind a tall fence. Good DAY, to you sir!.
Daniel Townes - covered tiger bees eating cereal, and golden showers. We finally got to the conclusion of his hernia story, with a nut sack mullet. I find his tattoo artist joke funny, because I knew some bikies, but no one else can relate to such extreme tattooing. Daniel was the only pro comic, and he was the one who produced the most laughs, but because I had heard them before I kind-of liked the younger comics more. He was still very funny
Jack Druice - is writing a new show, and the producer runs a comedy room billed as intelligent comedy, so Jack wants to write the thinking man's wank joke. He wants to be the Shakespeare of wanking jokes. Jack feels like he should be more involved in world politics, so he went down to see activists protesting in Martian Place. But when the guy in charge turned up wearing medical scrubs and a justice sombrero, he questioned who these people are.
Everyone was fairly equal, except the ones mentioned. Crowd : 4.25 - Me : 3.75
Just a note, we are getting to the end of the year, and after about 40 Project52 shows - I will check when MySpace is fixed - with an average of about 75 people, that is about 3000 attendances for the year. Which is pretty good, and probably double of that last year.
14.11.11 : Our Idiot Brother - movie
Comedy : An simple idealist/hippie gets thrown out of his home, and then barges into the lives of his three sisters. This movie is lovable, just like the lead character. He isn't dumb, he's just a simple good natured trusting person, and because of that he says the wrong thing at the wrong time because his doesn't see the big picture with his sister's very convoluted and modern life styles. In fact he is the the only nice person in the movie, with his sisters, girlfriend, and and the rest of the world being the not so nice people. You won't laugh like in a proper comedy, but the idiot brother is such a nice character, that it's hard not to fall for his innocence. A charming and happy little move with an attractive cast, I liked it. 3.75
13.11.11 : The Theatresports Cranston Cup 2nd Semi Final : Factory Theatre
So that's how you get me to stop whingeing all the time, put on a show that's good. I was a bit out of it on the night, because I was up late the night before, but I still found it funny even with a muddled head. I forgot to mention it last time, but this year they introduced some prop interaction for the crowd. The crowd was handed out beforehand, foam house bricks, which they could throw when they disapproved of a decision, and a knickers, which they can throw when they liked something. Our host was the likeable Steve Lynch, and the show started with the Jane Simmons inspired game of using sound prompts from the musician, which didn't go to plan and will probably never be used again. Now I know why no one last week wanted to go into questionable racist territory - even though there was selective racism with Spanish and Japanese impressions -, because they have reverted to the 'good old family values' show, by punishing anyone who does something not family friendly. And first off the rank was Dave Callan, who suggest 'the bad N-word' honky tonk scene, and that was quickly followed by his team mate Jon Williams stating that they will be doing a 'I love you scene' with love for all races, except Mexicans. This had them quickly red carded, or should I say red bucketed, because they got penalised and thrown out of the scene, and made to stand on the side of the stage with red buckets on their heads. This unfortunately left Bridie Connell to do the whole scene solo, but luckily Brydie Lee-Kennedy & Dave Bloustien stepped in to help by playing not so accurate mirrors in a hall of mirrors, which actually scored more points than if the trouble makers were in the scene. In round 3 The Indie Cowboys(IC) decided to do a 1960's dating game by sending Jeremy Yao out of the room, and giving the 3 contestant 2 secret facts - nationally and occupation - that he would have to discover when he came back by questioned them. Usually this game has 3 items to uncover, which is hard enough, but when they decided on 6 items, it was surprising Jeremy got 4 of them in only 3 minutes. The dysleXia Men(DM) then went on to do a Japanese Anime where a girls father made her an incomprehensible boyfriend, to start a family and fight aliens. Next notable mention was when DM did a serenade to Hanna - anything with on the spot rhyming is always popular with the crowd -. IC did the sequel to Inception, which as you can imagine was rather crazy, because in the original no one knew what was happening. DM then did the Shakespearian epic of Blu-Tack, where a knave was sent on a journey to find something sticky to stick the King's Iron Maiden posters on the castle wall. She eventually finds a witch, who steps on smurfs to produce Blu-Tack - again the rhyming, but this time in olde English, really appealed to everyone with 5's being scored.
In the second half Bigger on the Inside(BOTI) had the most mentions, and tried to invent a new game for every scene. They started with Kill Bill, but told as a children's tale, and used random lines from the audience suggestion bucket, which ended up being a very funny Kill Bill pirate tale. Rock Steady Crew(RSC) did a funny scene with a friendly psychopath that used his stabie stabie, bangy bangy to killing people, while another player, who didn't know how to playing keyboards, played the background music with a bucket on their head. BI invented another game, that had 2 people having political differences, but travelling through history in what became a roller-coaster through the ages. RSC did a Film Noir scene with Bridie out of room, and they repeated it with her as the main player. The first detective was very reluctant, but because Brydie didn't see it, she played a confident d!ck. You don't notice it, but Brydie is very technically accurate, she accepts everything, justifies it, and then explains all the actions to the audience. She's not old enough to be a veteran, but she is a pro, and it's that type of player you just don't see anymore. The last 2 scenes of the night weren't as good as the others, so the show did dip a bit at the end, but it didn't really affect things that much. BI finished on a super game about James Brown, by mixing their Wikipedia game(explaining a fictitious history), and their 140 characters game(they have to play 140 characters, with a 10 point deduction for every character less than 140). RSC finished on a jousting musical. Even though it didn't finish on a high, there were skills, there were funnies, and there was entertainment, so I liked it. Crowd : 4.5 - Me : 3.75
11.11.11 : Fastest - movie
Documentary : A documentary covering the riders in the fastest motor cycle class in the world, Moto GP. This is the best motor racing movie of the year, and probably the best ever, and is the most general public friendly movie of this type - you don't have to follow racing to not be bored -. It had people laughing, astounded, and gasping, and that's because it looked at the characters that make up the field. Motor cycle racing is not for the feint hearted, so for people to succeed in it they have to have a strong personality, and that's what makes it so exciting. I've always liked the premier class of motor cycling racing, because of the human element. In this type of racing the rider can make the difference between winning and loosing - a good rider can win on a bad bike -, and that is mainly due to the rider's personality - in car racing, like Formula 1, it's 90% the car, and not much the driver -. The biggest character on or off the track is Valentino Rossi. Valentino sets up these stunts for the fans after a win, and this gives him wide appeal as the good guy, but in actual fact he is the most ruthless cage fighter there has been - he intimated 3 riders into quitting this class -. And he does this by overtaking them in such risky manoeuvres, that the other riders get so scared they loose their confidence around him - it's how Casey Stoner learned his style of making a big lead early, that is the running scared technique of getting a big gap so he wouldn't have to deal with Rossi overtaking at all -. All the big overtaking moves by Rossi were covered, where they did a very casual interviews with the riders involved afterward about what they were thinking at the time. Like the time Rossi overtook Jorge Lorenzo in a very risky last corner overtake that won him the race. From the outside it looked liked a very brazen but calculated pass, but when they asked Valentino about it he was so casual and frank, that even he didn't think that he wouldn't make it, because it was one of those last second decisions when you're so over the edge that it either sticks, or crashes. Lots of incites to the people racing in the class. 4.25
10.11.11 : Moneyball - movie
Biography | Drama | Sport : The general manager of a small team looses his star players, and then switches to a very unorthodox method to rebuilt the team. Even though this has a big draw card for the ladies, I don't think girls will like this because it's the technical logistics of running a professional baseball team. We have all seen those triumphant sporting movies that are uplifting, but when you look at a sporting movie from the managerial aspect, it's less emotional, and more technical - It did have some uplifting moments so it's not dead in that department, it's just that they weren't as big as other types of sporting movies -. For me, I liked this movie a lot, and that's because of the technical aspect. It's like that young person coming up with new ideas to rock the establishment. Even though I liked it, I did overhear a girl say it's not worth seeing, but then again this is not constructed as much of an emotional movie, but more of a chess game. 4
09.11.11 : Project 52: Make Way For Ducklings - Zombies! Zombies? Zombies : Hermann's Bar
This was the bizarre, penis, racist, dildo murder edition. It was a bit up and down for me, but that's because I've been a bit distracted lately and didn't get some stuff, and why it was funny.
There was a lot of 3's for me, but the ones that stood out were :-
The garage sale with the 2nd hand dildo. It was totally crude, but you still have to laugh.
I liked the incompetent apprentice mistaking a Phillips-head screwdriver for, Phillip's-from-next-door's head. I can relate to screwdrivers.
The inventing of Chess, and the discussion between the inventors as to what to call it. Things like, Knights are Horses, and Blackies and Whities.
The ridiculous set-up for the racist Lawrence of Arabia sketch.
The accident at the old jizz factory. Again crude but funny.
The juvenile man coming up with innuendos for place names. Like Albania - I'll-bone-ya, Denmark - I'll leave a mark on her den, Djibouti - her booty calls, Lichtenstein - I'll lick her line, Turkey - gobble gobble gobble, etc
Michael Caine's Cane Emporium, complete with Michael Caine impression. Now we know the difference between an emporium and a warehouse.
A mother telling her kids that their father has died at work, and then finding out that he worked in the old jizz factory. The boss then arriving with his jizz covered hat, which Surtan mistook for the invisibility hat and putting it on. Visually disguising, but still funny.
The brutal shot to the head during the beautiful 'Spandau Ballet-True' song.
Other notable things was :-
The zombie switch, with zombies trying to protect themselves against humans. Complete with Carlo's inappropriate remark, "It's as easy as killing crippled children"
Cyrus having a shower on stage in his boxers - maybe one for the girls -, and then an announcement about wasting water.
Another laptop smashed - which makes me cry because I like fixing things -
The crowd liked the worlds smallest orphan, and worlds smallest children, but I don't know why.
Crowd : 4 - Me : 3.5
09.11.11 : I Don't Know How She Does It - movie
A story : A woman juggles a job and a family. This is not a comedy, and it's not a drama, it's just a story. If you want to see a movie about the riveting subjects of domestic family duties and finical investment, this is 1½ hours of that. Dull subjects with no charming love story, or anything, to cover it up. I don't know how people won't be bored by this. A dull and charmless movie. 1
06.11.11 : The Theatresports Cranston Cup 1st Semi Final : Factory Theatre
I had to do a lot of talking up of this show in my head, before I would make the effort to go see impro again. I kept telling myself that the semi's have always been the best shows in the past, which is why I bypassed all the heats, and that this should be the best in the current crop of theatresport type shows, so hopefully good. There is a format change this year, the 2 young teams do battle in the first half and complete all their 5 rounds all in a row, and then the experienced players come out in the second half for their 5 rounds. Is it better, is it worse, well the cons are that you can get more dull scenes in a row, as opposed to alternating good bad scenes, and the pros are that the show ends on a high because the experienced players are usually always entertaining. On the whole it is probably better this way, as your more accepting when your fresh, and then the show finishes on a high. Technically, the young players never challenge the older players, but that's not as important as being entertaining, because it's the number of the crowd that pays the bills. Tonight it was basically a Carlo Ritchie and Bearded Clams show. Points are all well and good, but as the songs says 'Don't be a bore', and that's what they did by being entertaining and not worrying about the points - like Carlo's rambling narration stuff scores points with the audience, but not the judges -. One scene took a hit from political correctness, in that it was set up in Chinatown with none of the players daring to go there. If you can't find a idea to work around the typical racial stereotype angle, like move the scene somewhere else, just do it, and apologize after every instance to reduce it's offensiveness. You could also racial stereotype their good points, like Tahir does, or you could even reverse it with an Asian person being racist toward a whitie - don't think other races aren't just as racist as we are -. If you want to get technical, every accent is offensive, and by virtue of that, every impression is offensive, so in theory you can't even write about a character being a specific race in a book. Like Howard Wolowitz can't be a Jewish aerospace engineer, he has to only be an aerospace engineer. Basically most of comedy is about making fun of something, which is a stereotypical trait of humans - have you ever used a comical impression of someone to make them seam like they are the stupid person when recounting a disagreement -. The points system is a bit mish mash, in that it boosts teams that aren't as good, and if teams that aren't as entertaining get through, that just reduces the entertainment value for the next audience and kills repeat sales. Really, this should be run as a business, in that you put your best foot forward, and if it's good the people will come - like the old Belvoir shows that weren't advertised much, yet would be packed -. It's that, if it's entertaining, it will be popular, and if it's popular, it will make money - I hate paying for crap, just as everyone does -. Not a fan of pushing school teams through to the final. The modern generation is a praised generation, that get told that they can do anything. So when they go through the schools comp and win all their heats they believe it, but when they compete in the Cranston seniors comp and come last, they aren't old enough to handle it, and quit impro all together - you will never see members of the Arabian Disco Nights in impro again -. The other problem is they are usually not as good, so it reduces the entertainment value for the flagship final, and that stops the audience turning up. It's better to have 4 good teams, rather than 6 so-so teams that are only there to get experience, at least from a sustainability perspective. I didn't hate it, and that's the best I can ask for, but the audience seamed to like it - probably because this is the level they are used to these days, as opposed to me who can see the difference between the old and new days. 1st half 3, 2nd half 4. Crowd : 4.25 - Me : 3.5
04.11.11 : In Time - movie
Action | SciFi : In the future you stop aging on your 25th birthday, but unfortunately this also starts the time credit timer on your arm giving you only 1 more year to live. More time credits are gained by working, or other means, making time the currency. I didn't want to see this because it felt like a Logan's Run copy, but other than the main premise, that the population is forcibly killed at the age of 25, it quite different - and more entertaining -. The movie starts off SciFi, and then turns into a chase movie, and then a Robbin Hood type film. When the SciFi ran out, the action kept it going, so it was entertaining throughout. The second half did feel like they were running out of money, so it does get a bit clunky. 4
02.11.11 : Project 52 - Story Club: Sharks and Jets : Hermann's Bar
Weird or What. Only one story was an actual factual story, all the rest were way out there man. Again some took the theme literally.
Ben Jenkins hosted tonight, as he prone to do for every show except the super sub Alex ones, and made a strong statement in his satirical story called The Breakfast Wars - which were facts based on his current job of watching 28 hours of breakfast TV a week at Channel 10 -. There had always been rivalry between the 2 big networks of 7 and 9, and none more so than the breakfast time slot. Today was closing in on viewers to Sunrise, and to try and get ahead in this neck and neck race, the networks sunk to more and more grandiose stunts. The producers would push the hosts to read even more outrageous headlines, like "Facebook will make your children explode", and then push their weathermen do bigger and bigger stunts when reporting the weather, by placing them in all manner of crazy locations. Things started simply with Grant Denyer doing a report in the perspex walkway in Sydney Aquarium's shark tank, while Steve Jacobson swam past doing his report. This tit for tat contest came to ahead, when Steve Jacobson's head was blown off in some Tarantinoesque fashion, by Grant, when both were doing reports atop of Uluru at the same time. After that it became the point of order for the networks not increase their audience numbers, but to reduce the others, producing a genocide of each others audiences. Good
Mark Sutton : Webster : Back in 1999 a telegraph was sent over the radio that Speakers Corner would be starting up again in the Domain, and this excited Mark. Speakers Corner had started in Hyde Park London in 1800's, and was the place anyone could spurt out their rhetoric from atop a soapbox. Speakers Corner was later transported to Australia in 1878 but died a death in the 80's, but was now going to rise again like a Phoenix from the ashes. New Speakers Corner stared auspiciously with a crowd of 8 in the first week, of which Mark and his friends numbered 4, but by the second week this had dwindled to 7, one of Marks friends didn't turn up. One of the big drawcrads in the 60's was John Webster, but when he died, his supporters buried a dildo in the park, symbolizing that the prick is still there. The small crowd had surmised wrongly, similarly to Webster's supporters wrongly assumed him dead when he was in actually living in Tasmania, that the curse of Webster's dildo was the sole reason that the crowds stayed away. Derrick, with divining rod in hand, set out to find the offending member, and put Webster to rest thereby lifting the curse. Next week the masses assembled, and Derrick proudly displayed the offending donger. He was about to cast it asunder, when he realised that it wouldn't be good enough to rid the undead ghost of Webster, so he placed it on a soapbox and preceded to burn it to the ground. Unfortunately a flash rain storm stopped it mid length, and reduced it to a half mast. Not detracted by the bad luck, Derrick placed it in a Tupperware container and threw it into the briny deep. Unfortunately due to their lack of a ability to think, a common trait for this lot, the Viking dildo funeral went astray when it washed up on a nearby beach to be found by a number of kids. Voted best dildo story 2011. Better than nice.
Matt Watson : Starfish Wars : If Star Wars was driving along and crashed into WWII sending both over a cliff and into the ocean and then made into a series of puns, it will explain this story. - It started with WWII, but with a ocean twist -. A-Dolphin Hitler sent his prawn troupers into Polar Bear land. This outraged Winston Sharkhill, and he rallied the troops and put Richard the Sealion Heart, and Alexander the Great Barrier Reef in charge. - It then switched to the Star Wars story, but with an ocean twist -. You know the story so I will just give you the pun names and you can fill in the rest. Luke Sharkwalker, Obi-Fin Kenobi, Emperor Penguin Palpatine, Chewsharker, Clam Solo, and the Millennium Seahorse. Luke Sharkwalker and the Sharks got into their jets - finally getting to the shark jet reference - and they attacked the anal exhaust vent of the Death Starfish blowing it up into calamari. Nice
Adam Yardley : This was a sweet, but very detailed story, of Adam's brother when he was young. Daniel is smart, easy going, affable, and patient, making him totally inert to superfluous things like bullies. As Adam put it, "they were like woodpeckers on a brick chimney". Costa is a bully that should have had the A-hole beat out of him at an early age, but that wasn't allowable in this new age, so he terrorised everyone just for the sake of it. The Yardley and Costa kids hated each other, but strangely enough the parents were friends, so they all ended up going to a party at the local church hall. With mullet, and rats tail flailing in the wind(a Rhy's Nicholson gag), Costa grabbed Daniel's cup cake, bit off the top, and threw rest of it at poor Daniel. Unfazed, Daniel next started on his fairy bread, but the attention seeking pest that was Costa threw a lolly at Daniel, ricocheting off Daniels hand, and causing him to drop his fairy bread. Daniel was conscientious of the precious resource that is fairy bread - unlike this disposable generation -, and brushed it off as best as he could, and proceed to eat what was left. As Adam put it, because he is always about the details, this was not ideal, because the fair-osity of fairy bread is diminished when the ratio of hundreds and thousands to bread is too extreme. Like one hundred and thousand on buttered bread, is just buttered bread, and a silo of millions and billions on a crumb, isn't fairy bread either. The super high sugar content in the kids blood soon had them over the limit, driving Costa to hurtle through the helium balloons taped to the floor. This enticed Daniel to follow suit, which got Costa in trouble for starting the bad behaviour in the first place. Other Adam quotes, "It was like Jesus's sermon on the mount, a kind-of outdoors Hebrew Story Club. Sweet and finely detailed, better than nice.
Michael Hing : Dwade Sharky, just another mechanic : This was something like a Film Noir with character accents. California's tough guy mechanic Dwade Sharky was working on Professor's poindexter's Camry. The 4 eyed dork was flustered, but Dwade grabbed him by the throat, and told him he had turned his car into a man's car by tripling it's horsepower. Professor dork was too afraid to drive, so Dwade threw him in the passenger seat and took the controls. They were flying along when Dwade asked him what was in the briefcase. The dork explained that he was a marine biologist, and that there were sharks in briefcase contained by the nuclear powered infinity machine. Dwade then jumped the Grand Canyon but was stopped by Prince, the leader of a gang of bikers. Dwade wasn't going to take this and "tore through the gang, like justice through minorities". The bikies threw a nuclear bomb at them, but this only fried the dork, leaving Dwade unharmed - his skin had been toughened up by playing professional football with the NY Yankees, on a baseball field -. Dwade wasn't going to put up with the bikies killing some nerd, so he opened the damaged briefcase, and the sharks fused to his arms. He then strapped a jet to his back - thereby filling the criteria for the night -, and turned toward the bikies. He smashed through the gang and bit their heads off, but when they made the mistake of trying to escape by swimming away, the arm sharks and jet pack soon had Dwade in pursuit. He flew past them and the super sound sonic boom explosion washed them on to beach, where he bit the head off the head bikie proclaiming, "Good bite sweet Prince" - Ben was quite taken by Michael's Hamlet reference, but Michael didn't know it was Hamlet, he got the quote from a video game -. Better than nice.
Dom Knight : Inner West Side Story : We were told that this was a fresh story written just for Story Club, but you questioned that by the end. Just as you have to kill a man to join the Mafia, and get a large tattoo on your back to join the Yakuza, Don's initiation to join the Chaser, was to go on an unlawful stunt. 9 years ago 2 guys streaked a Vodafone sponsored Wallabies match with Vodafone written on their asses, which got them arrested. It was latter we discovered that Vodafone's marketing department had prearranged to pay their legal costs if they were caught. So as a send-up, the Chaser was going to streak the Burwood courthouse on the day of the trial with not guilty and Vodafone painted on their bums. Julian and Andrew striped off in a public toilet, and proceed to paint each others naked bodies with pink paint. The plan was that they were going to run down the main street of Burwood, run up steps, across the front of the courthouse, back down, and then to the van, with Dom filming the wide shot from across the street, while Brad filmed up close from the steps. Everything went to plan and they returned to the van, but when the checked the video, Dom had totally stuffed up, when the only footage he had was of his foot LOL - Dom accidentally pressed the record button during a practice, so when he hit the button he actually turned the camera off -. The trick to these stunts is the quick getaway, but someone came up with the stupid idea to be a naked lawyer in barrister wig, giving advice to the accused as they entered the court. As you would expect, in the 20 minutes lapse between the gags, the police had arrived, and arrested Julian, Brad, and Dom. Julian acted like the big lawyer and warned that the cops they were making a big mistake, and that will look like a fool in court. Unfortunately it was Julian's who looked like a fool when that statement was read out in court. Andrew had made a getaway by just walking away, and a nude Chas put his cloths back on, but had left his money and phone in the van. The 3 were locked up for 15 minutes when the Sergeant arrived. He knew the show, and told the cops that they should have let them go. Unfortunately because they had already been arrested, they had to be charged, which the Sergeant downgraded. 5 years latter, they had to face the charges in the same court. Dom had an excellent defence, because he had been so incompetent that he was no help what so ever, but the police argued that he had fudged the tape somehow, so he was still charged. Upon leaving the court, the SMH was in waiting and took a photo of Dom crying - actually he was wiping sweat off his head - and this photo became an embarrassment for years to come. The SMH also go it wrong that Dom was one of the streakers, which made him a legend, until he confessed. He got 1 year probation, and if he stayed clean he would have his record cleared - the others were offering him $50 get arrested again -. The down shot of this is that Dom has to retell this story every time he gets a visa to enter the U.S., and then repeat it again to every customs officer he passes. The first time at LAX, the customs officers was suspicious of the visa, so when Dom told the story the officer got very angry, because he thought it was an act of free speech, and he thought Australia was free. This was the only real story of the night, and was the one that attracted me the most. The crowd on the other hand, were attracted to Michael and Zoe's stories. Good
Zoe Norton Lodge : Jets and Sharks : This was like the killing fields of cutlery. All the sexy round spoons lived on the hill in Spoonville. They would frolic in the summer sun spooning and and producing teaspoons. Then one day the horrid forks became jealous, and marched up the hill starting a murderous killing spree. The ruthless forks were relentless and murdered as many spoons as possible, even the teaspoons. One of the forks was shocked at the brutality, and saw a group of scared teaspoons huddled under a tree. Moments from death he grabbed their handles and lead them to the fields, where the long grass hid them. With them safe he returned to the hill, only to see a terrified spoon being chased. He quickly grabbed her and held her tight behind a tree. The other forks ran past totally oblivious to their hiding place, and when the coast was clear he lead her to the safety of the grasslands. There he could so how beautiful and round she was, and they lay in the grass in tight spooning embrace. This whole 10 minute story was a set-up for a pun at the end, but it was written too well, causing you to get sucked in so hard, that you felt mortified for these inanimate objects. Good
Crowd : 4.25 - Me : 4
01.11.11 : Drive - movie
Drama | Action : A Hollywood stunt performer, who moonlights as a wheelman, discovers that a contract has been put on him after a heist gone wrong. If your after a high speed action car chase movie, this isn't it. It's a heist gone wrong drama with hardly any driving, and it's done in a tense brooding stylised way with massive amounts of pregnant pauses for dramatic effect. Talk about your brooding dark silent laconic type, this was ridiculous, because the hero hardly said a word throughout the whole movie. There was so little talking in the first hour that I started getting bored - one guy walked out -. There is more talking in the second half so it does pick up to tolerable. If your not too demanding. 3
01.11.11 : Warrior - movie
Drama : Estranged brothers from a family that was destroyed by their alcoholic father, unexpectedly collide when the have the same goal of winning a mixed martial arts tournament. This basic story may sound simple, but all they way through the movie you get those slowly unfolding background stories to the characters, and this makes the whole story rather complicated. The background stories aren't directly delivered, but are delivered in conversations between the characters, and from that you you have to work out what actually happened. The way things unfold, and the dramatic revelations from the side stories, keeps you engaged for the over 2 hour runtime. It was interesting, so I liked it. 3.75
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